The Crackheads Did It

Twinkle, twinkle little slut

How I want to smack your butt

Put your ass in the air

Move your feet that isn't fair

Twinkle, twinkle little slut

Now it seems I smacked your butt

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On top of old Josie, all covered with jizz

I lost my poor load now, but that's just show biz

It got on the table and onto the floor

And in the corner, it got on my whore

It rolled down your chin and into your bush

Everything in between has now become just mush

You licked your lips, as tasty as can be

"You must be Italian" is what you said to me

"The sauce is so zesty as it lay on my tongue

And tastes much better, as you just smacked my bung

I do love show biz and being a porn star

Now I can finally go out and buy that new car"

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"Last Chance for Mary Jane"

(to the theme of Tom Petty)

She grew up in a great southern town

Rednecks and bungalows all around

The great southern sunshine makin her brown

Sooner or later, she was bound to go down

She moved to the city and didn't get mean

Got a little weird as she surrounded that bean

Saw her dancing at a club, looked so fine

Sooner or later, she was bound to be mine

Last chance for Mary Jane one more time it'll be insane

She feels something creepin in, I know it's not that bean again

Well you don't wanna know what happened after that

Turned and ran away screaming she thought she was fat

I just laid there now alone shaking my head

And here I rented the hotel's biggest bed

Oh my my, oh with my right

I'll do it alone just out of spite

Lookin so good and she threw on that dress

She could've been my very own princess

Last chance for Mary Jane, one last chance to save me pain

I see somebody lookin' in, where are the police again

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"Mash Into Me"
(to the theme of Dave Mattews Band)

Well you've got nice breasts and you've got nice ass

Will you tie me up with your figure of hourglass

Will you turn me on with your look of seduction

Will you steal me away in a pretty abduction

Sweet like honey and tangy to the taste

Lets rip our clothes off in a strenuous haste

Leave the shades open and let them dream

I'm about to tear you apart at the seam

Oh, come on and mash into me

And I'll come into you

In a voyuer's dream

Now touch yourself just so I know

That it's worth it to let you go down and blow

I'm bare assed and horny. . for you

Oh, come on and mash into me

And I'll come into you

In a voyuer's dream

Now get on the bed, it's got a headboard

So we don't give you a concussion and send you to the lord

Now you've got me begging, down on my knees

It's been so long I need this please

When I'm about to scream "yes", close to you

Mash into me

Oh now come on mash into me, baby

And i'll come into you

Move your body up just a little more

So the freaks can peak through the door

Show you're world to me a little more

Somewhere inside I know there is a whore

In a voyuer's dream

Oh, and I watch you now through my stoned eyes

As you send yourself into eternal bliss

Now I'm tied up you're twisted but what the hell

Fuckin dinner got to me what's that smell

But mash into me. . .

mash into me. . .

You're now my queen since Mary Jane ran out and became insane

You're a dirty girl and I'll say no more, yes you've become the whore

Please mash into me baby

Oh yeah yeah yeah

and I see the waves

Mash into me

It's about time I got there

Look at the waves

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"Cookie"
(to the theme of Limp Bizkit)

I came into this world as a monster

Look into my eyes

Then you'll see the chocolate chips

That are driving me looking

My stomach's burning

But it's the work that makes it taste so good

Hey, I think about it all day

My girl ran away screaming I was a freak but that's okay

Because I got my bag 'o cookies and staring into nowhere

Like an addict (hey)

Should I look for hazelnut?

Should I look for mmm pecan?

It's kinda fucked up how many kinds they make now

And you'd think I'd be satisfied

But no because they are so tantalizing yet so refined

Maybe I should quit cold turkey

As it seems to run my life insanely

I'm just a monster with a knack

Whoever said a cookie gave you a heart attack

I did it all for the cookie (c'mon)

The cookie (c'mon)

So you can take that nookie

And shove it up your ass

shove it up your ass

Why did I buy another bag?

Why did I buy another one, huh?

My homies would never ever understand

Wait, I'm the only one

Who gets a kick out of sweets like I do

But maybe I should stop as it's been marketed

And I'm just the little bitch that's left without a bag

My so called job with the street, punks

I should have my own show by now

But i'm stuck with a craving and no money, I should stop

But I'm an addict (hey)

I did it all for the cookie (c'mon)

The cookie (c'mon)

So you can take that nookie

And shove it up your ass

shove it up your ass

But I'm only a monster

A monster with a craving for the sugar

Your advice just doesn't apply to me

Nothing's gonna change

It'll always stay the same

I'll just keep eating

It'll be okay

Nothing's gonna change

Chocolate chip all day

Maybe some peanut butter

It'll all be okay

Nothing's gonna change

I'm an addict anyway

At least the flavor

Will keep me happy all day

I did it all for the cookie (c'mon)

The cookie (c'mon)

So you can take that nookie

And shove it up your ass

shove it up your ass

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"Goodbye to Porno"
(to the theme of Ozzy Osbourne)

Well now my job has come and gone

Tomorrow I will begin life unemployed

My wallet's empty my balls are full

What can I do to pay the bill

So I said

Goodbye to porno, yeah

Goodbye to mags

I'm saying

Goodbye to all those breasts

I guess that it's better

Better in the end

I've been the bitch, I've been control

What is left to further explore

It's all been and done

Came on your face and in the snow

What's new in another show

It's all been and done

So I said

Goodbye to porno, yeah

Goodbye to mags

I'm saying

Goodbye to all those breasts

I guess that it's better

Better in the end

And abstinence looks so fine and so it ends my whine starting now

And I have no more cash it seems my funds have crashed again

So I said

Goodbye to porno, yeah

Goodbye to mags

I'm saying

Goodbye to all those breasts

I guess that it's better

Better in the end