1997

 

You gotta, You gotta look out

For yourself, that's right

She's treating you good

But you're hurting youself

Absence of contact, shit

That hurts so much

Do good for yourself too

Not only her

Let go of the resistance

That's keeping you back

From exploring yourself

Do you ever look out for yourself

You didn't last time, you almost ended up dead

 

You're so confused, feel guilty

It's ripping you up

Cutting your heart in two

What's she going to do for you

But you don't want to

You don't want to lose her

If you do, you might die tonight

My advice to you

Talk to her, her talk to you

Relieve the fucking problem

 

I know you still love her

She's all you have left, so you

You can't let her go that easy

"Honey, I love you

But it's catching up

Maybe I'm selfish

But just give me time

To think things over

Goodbye"

January 14th, 1997

 

I sit alone, no one speaks to me

I stand alone, my feet hurt

Take my gun, point it to my temple

I go away and hide in my dark corner

I cover up my sadness and smile

While inside I still cry

No one can hear me, why

Because I don't want to whine

 

I don't want to live anymore

Shoot me right now

I don't want to live anymore

Through these awful days

 

Why do I live this way

Why do I cry all day

Why am I alone I say

Why do I cry today

 

People look right through me

Don't notice a goddamn thing

Everything I tough gets cursed

If I were you I'd stay away

My toxic tearrs destroy my will

Close my eyes and see the end

My stomach turns inside out

I tried to call you for help

But it's obvious I'm alone

Lay with no life left in me

The only air I breathe is nicotine

The only thing that stays with me

 

Tears are my only friends

In this dark world of mine

I pray to gods above me

To take this sad curse

My life is all I have left

The strong boy you visualized

Has now broken in two

I couldn't take the sadness

Of being who I really am

Hate me, because I"m sad

That seems common of you

I say goodbye to all of you

I'm sorry if I've hurt you

I looked up to all of you

You've kept me from all of this

But now that you're gone

I have no support or understanding

Of these thoughts in my brain

Thanks for all you've done for me

I appreciate all your effort

I now lay down to sleep

Never to awake

Close my eyes and fall asleep

Jan, 6th, 1997

 

5.3 million women out there

And I've met the best of them

You're my love, my care

The day we can be together

Is the day I'll always look forward to

I look to you

Ask you why

I always have to

Be shoved away

 

I ask you to come to me

Cry on my shoulder

Don't be afraid of you

I don't mean any harm

I just want you to know

That you are you

No one can change that

I don't know why they'd want to

 

Hope I get to hold you tight

Your arms resting on my neck

Yet a tear rolls down

Because my life is without you

I've always dreamed of someone

So special to help me through

I"m so sorry for all your pain

Pain I know I've been through

When you come and reach out to me

I'll be waiting with open arms

Relax and think of me

I'll protect you from your harms

I look to you

Ask you why

I always have to

Be shoved away

 

I ask you to come to me

Cry on my shoulder

Don't be afraid of me

I don't mean any harm

I just want you to know

That you are you

And no one can change that

I don't know why they'd want to

I know there's a chance

For us to be together

I'll give you love that you

Have never felt before

Just keep me in

High thoughts with you

I'll never forget you

I know that this is true

 

I know I rush

I don't know why I do

I wish I could speed up time

Just to be with you